What do I know about it? I am not really into planning; I myself don’t have time management. But now, in my situation I have to include it in my agenda every now and then for having so many tasks in lined. From school and to the other obligations I have to comply. I am pressured; I have been counting days and calculating some things before making a decision. I get so paranoid sometimes, thinking I might mess up things.

I have to plan, and work the plan. Maybe this is the stage where I can grow up as a human and leave innocence and learn to have responsibilities. Luckily, I have some of my friends to help me up (close friends especially). They always say that they are at my back ready to catch me up when I mess up. I was really stocked but lets see who catches me when it happens (hehe).

Moreover, I have to trust the people around me and work with them. I know GOD has always good plans for me to work out. I am also peculiar with the outcome, let’s see what happens. And so, the journey begins.

Suddenly things were way too hard to control. Oh, maybe there are things are way too hard for us to control. The more I resist those things to happen, the more it came. Maybe this was just a another chapter of it. I am afraid to mess up so badly that’s why I refuse, but now I can’t do much about it but to face it. Or maybe I can make a change and work things out. I am also peculiar of what would be the outcome of what I am going to. I feel so pressured like two massive black hole pulling me away.

Later on I realized “If this was not given to me, who will? I mean everyone has their own chances not now but soon. But I’ll take my chances and hopefully get things right”. Evenly, I was not born with such talent leadership that is, I got so easily pissed off sometime even I was in grade school. Oh I can do this, and thanks for the people who believed in me. Hope you/they will be beside me till this chapter ends.

It’s time for a change, and I’ll be that change and the visionary of a ship that will sail through out the year. Hope we will not sink. Hehe! =)

Just this week, month I guess. I felt so pressured in all the things given to me. From the OJT/on the job Training and from the jobs/tasks given to me as an individual. Lately I began to understand things that filled me a positive vibes, a positive way of doing things. No matter how hard people will drown you and put you down, as long as you know yourself and be positive about it.

People who don’t know me yet, will surely judge me on how I look. That is a rational thing! I think, but most of the time people do judge me in the wrong way, and I don’t blame them. But I don’t care, I think I know myself better, so I keep myself quiet. We can’t take that from people, to be just judgmental and insecure.

Sometimes I get hurt, and I can’t take it. I want to confront and fight back. But maturely, I remember my mother’s words. “You need not to explain to people, cause you know what is the truth! Let them see! Let them be”. My mother really is influential to my innocents. When I am hurt, from the words spoken I laugh it out like nothings happened.

I’ll make them see it, and make them understand. “I don’t speak for revenge, I speak for the truth”. =)

When times were so bad for me, when no one listens to the agony I moan. Like they always say, when there is bad times there are truly good times. Although weeks are so hard and days were so annoying, I still had a time to unwind myself with my friends and family.

My only hardship is that I get so easily pressured, from work or any demand given. Also I fear that I can’t make it to the expectation given to me. But from all that, I still cope with it.

I feel so lucky. People around me sometimes are so insensitive no knowing the meaning of pressures and not care “what would happened if we don’t do it and do that”. Oh well, people speak at there own cause and alibi.

I embrace music as my partner, a friend and a brother. That is what music to me, and so these musical instruments are valuable to me. Make me think, sleep, eat, and everything in between. Now suddenly I wanted to play this stringed-instrument, it is the Violin.

I am so amazed of people who know how to play it, from different key and levels. Really stunning! Now, I want to play it myself. Lots of people knows how to play the guitar as a popular stringed instrument, perhaps others would be playing the piano. But for me I think Violin is unique, 3 out of 10 people are my ratio for the people who can play it.

Just nothing, it is one of my frustrations that I want to play it.